Still looking.

At the beginning of every season I pray that God will put in front of me a player that I can influence in a positive way. The season is more than half way over and I am not sure that I have had one put in front of me, at least that I can see. I have been wondering why God has not put one in front of me.

I wonder if it is because He wants me to work on myself or if I am just not seeing who it is supposed to be. I recently had a discussion with a very good friend of mine about a struggle that I am having with my walk. My problem is that I often question whether or not I am living according to the teachings of Christ. I try to be real to people, which often involves me screwing up in some way or another, and that bothers me because I often feel as though my screw up has led somebody away from Christ. I try to live my life in front of our players in a manner that shows the joy of being saved by Grace, and I wonder if that is why God has not put a player in front of me, because of the work left in my own life. I suppose that maybe God is letting me figure out how to be a good father, and that I don't need to necessarily need a player to influence or that a player doesn't yet need me.

Anyway, I just thought that I would put these thoughts into words for someone to give me a little insight into my world.

I will say this: I am truly enjoying what God has been doing in my life over this past year, and I am truly blessed by what He has given me and my family.

I also want you to know that My older brother Tim has just celebrated 1 year of being sober. He is an incredible inspiration to our family and I love him so very much.

Just a question????

Just a question that I have been pondering for sometime. I have been really thinking about the difference between being a "Christian" and being a "Christ follower". The thing I am struggling with is this idea that a "Christian" is a legalistic person who promotes reading the Bible, following all the rules, only listens to Gospel music, etc, while a "Christ follower" is a more modern person, who doesn't get caught up with the "rules", who might wear torn jeans to church, claps during songs, doesn't read the Bible everyday, and may even let out a cuss word once in a while. My question is this...Are we as "Christ followers" justifying our behaviors by covering ourselves under the blanket of "being sinners", therefore we can get away with more? Or are "Christ followers" really understanding more clearly the message of Jesus vs. Being "Christian"?

It seems to me that there is this battle in the Church between "Christians" and "Christ followers". I tend to think that each group needs to have a good mix of each other. What do y'all think.

Just a question.

The first Christmas as a Dad.

Well, it came and went so fast, but Brooks celebrated his first Christmas. It all went off without a hitch. He survived all of the driving from house to house and being passed around like a hot potato. It makes it so much easier because he is such a happy baby. He obviously wasn't much into opening the presents due to him not having a clue what a present is yet, but he did latch on to one gift. He really likes this mechanical Spider Man that sings the "itsy, bitsy spider" song to him. Other than that he really didn't know or care about all of the "Christmas" festivities.

As for being a dad at Christmas, all I can say is... WOW! It was so much fun video taping everything. It made feel like a little kid again, heck I even got a brand new bicycle and it has a bell on it!!! WHEW HEW!!!! Anyway it was a great time to be with all of my family again. The only thing missing was the snow, but I guess you can't have it all.

We hope everyone has a great New Year.

MERRY CHRISTMAS....Y'ALL

My first Christmas is going to be great. Brooks is now 8 months old and we are loving it. He has two front teeth, (just what he asked for, for Christmas) that's all he wanted for Christmas. I can't wait to be able to tell him the true meaning of Christmas.

MERRY CHRISTMAS...Y'ALL

Random Thoughts

I have come to the realization, again, that I have many great friends. All kinds of friends from all walks of life. I am totally blessed by their influence in my life. I won't single anyone out, because when you do that you always leave somebody out, but I am blessed by the company I keep. God has blessed me with so many unique relationships and for that I give thanks...

...I think I have found a great house for Alyson and I to buy, problem is we don't know if we can afford the price, but we haven't even tried to figure out what we can afford either. It is a 4 bedroom 2 full bath house located in Rochester Hills, MI. It would be perfect for Alyson, because she works from home. We could use the 4th bedroom for her office. It has a big yard with a nice deck off the back. Usually when I show Alyson houses that I see on the internet she just shrugs it off, but this one has her a bit excited. A house would be a great thing for us at this point, we are tired of being in an apartment...

...With this officially being the Christmas season, I often wonder what God truly thinks of all of our hustle and bustle to get just the right gift. Does he sit up there and laugh, or does he sit back and wonder if we will ever "get it". I know what the perfect gift is, and that was His son dyeing on the Cross. I wish that I could just stay focused on that, instead of worrying what I am going to give as gifts...

"What would you do if I had Cancer?"

"What would you do if I had Cancer?" Those are the words that I heard one year ago yesterday from my wife as we lay in bed after a basketball game. Those are also the words that I will never forget because of what followed. When she asked me the question, I truly did not have an answer, so I paused and said "boy, that would suck." She then said, "well, I have Cancer". That instant I became numb to everything around me, I couldn't fathom the possibility that my time with my wife could be coming to an end. After about 2-3 minutes I began to cry, and we held each other for what seemed forever, and I can remember not wanting to let go of her.

What followed in the coming days was probably the most frustrating time in our lives together. Not only did my wife now have breast cancer, but she was also 5 months pregnant, and the doctors were unsure what to do regarding treatment. At first the doctors came with the possibility of terminating the pregnancy, which was never an option in Alyson's mind, nor mine. Then they said, that they could treat her, but what of the baby during all of this. They did not have an answer for it.

So Alyson and I sought out second and third and fourth opinions over the next month or so. We traveled to Dallas, TX, Lubbock, TX, Up to Michigan, and back to Abilene, TX. Then we prayed a lot with our friends and family. We cried a lot and we ate basically what amounts to grass, not sure but that could have been the reason for crying a lot.

I don't know if anyone can relate, but it is the hardest thing to watch someone you care so much for, go through all that she went through. It was horrible watching her get stuck with all those needles, and to watch her get her initial biopsy done. The thing that I did notice was her strength and courage. I can remember asking her what we were going to do, and she looked at me and said, "we are going to keep on living normal... Life does not stop because of cancer". That blew me away. All I wanted to do was make life easier for her, and she did not want anything to change one bit. If it were me I would have wanted to go rent a cottage by a lake and just die, but not her. She was going to keep on going, not missing a stride and whatever happened along the way happened.

So a year has gone by, and she is cancer free, we have our son Brooks, and life is normal. Just like she wanted. I sit here today blessed beyond measure for who my wife is and what she means to our family. Her strength and courage is immeasurable by anything on this earth, and I love her more than words.

A special thank you goes out to our family and friends, especially our dear friends in Abilene, TX. It was your prayers that kept us going and keep us going today. Alyson, Brooks, and I truly love all of you. Thank you so much.

My Hunting Buddy is now 6 months old

Since hunting season is underway, Alyson and I thought it would be fun to put brooks in this outfit and take pictures of him. He is so easy to get smiling and laughing. Hope you enjoy.

"The First 5 minutes"

"The first 5 minutes" is a phrase we like to use in the basketball world. It is used to help illustrate to the players that it is important to come out ready to play from the start of that game and not to wait until its too late. It's sort of a way to set the tone for what we want to do on the court. That phrase has taken on new meaning as of late. I have to be at work pretty early in the morning and I usually get to see my son wake up, but it is only for about 5 minutes. I get to see his "first 5 minutes" everyday. I usually get greeted with a big smile and it makes me feel great. It sets the tone for my day and gets me going on the right foot. I also think that "the first 5 minutes can be a way to greet Christ at the beginning of the day. This way we can see how we will be that day. Are we going to be slow and lethargic or are we going to be ready to face the day with the confidence that Christ gives us through his death and resurrection. With that thought I am going to make my first 5 minutes as a measuring stick for each new day, and with God's help I will not be slow and lethargic very often. I want to be "on top of things" so that I do not miss an opportunity to minister to someone who may need it.

So it begins...

We started practices this week at Rochester College. This may be my most favorite time of the year. Everything is new and exciting, players are fired up to get going and coaches are fired up because players are out of shape. Every pre-season I get the chance to build new relationships with new players, its just a fun time for me. Its sort of like a conversion experience for me each new season. I am excited and on fire at first and then there will come a time when I am not so on fire. There are times when I would just rather not be around the gym and the guys and I just want to hide away for a time. I experience those times in my walk with Christ. There are times that I would just rather hide away from the Lord for a time. It is then that I have to find renewal in His love, and I pray that I find that renewal daily and not experience those times of hiding from the Lord.

My prayer each new basketball season is that the Lord puts in my life a young man who needs to see Christ lived out in the world. That Christ would let the young man/men see that following Him is not a life of rules and things that you can't do, but rather a life of freedom and newness and excitement. And I pray that I can be a great light for Christ, and now with a child to care for that I will be a great example to him.

So it begins...

Reconnecting with "Old" friends

I got to re-connect with some old friends last night at a birthday party. Aly, Brooks, and I went to my old boss' house last night to celebrate the birthday of his two year old twin boys. It was great to see some old friends again. I realized how long 3 years is when I saw how big all of their children had gotten. I think the best part of the evening was when we arrived and I got to see a special friend named Lauren. She calls me "Big Brian", although I am not sure if it is because I am tall in her eyes or if I am overweight. I am hoping that it is because she views me as tall (no comments from the peanut gallery here, please). Lauren is 7 years old (I think) and she really loved for me to throw her in the air when she was younger. 3 years ago I could really throw her high in the year. I realized how long 3 years is when I tried to just pick her up. She had gotten so big and tall, I couldn't believe it. But we had a good time getting re-aquainted after her brief moment of shyness.
Lauren's dad and I used to go hunting a lot before I left to pursue coaching, and I am excited to get back in the field with him and others. It was just an enjoyable night. Its good to be home.

4 months old and lovin' life

Here is Brooks at 4 months old. He is such a pleasure to watch grow, and he has such a great personality.

I am getting old(er)!!!

It hit me hard this past Saturday that I am getting older and older. I watched my sister Rachel get married, and I realized that she is all grown up. I always viewed her as my little sister until last Saturday. It wasn't until she was walking down the isle that I realized that she is a full grown women, and a beautiful one at that. I was flooded with memories the whole night of all the things that her and I went through together. I think the fondest memory was when I went away to college. My family had taken me there to move into the dorms and Rachel came with us. We spent the whole day together as a family, and when it came time to say goodbye to her we both began to cry. I wasn't sure at the time why, but now I know what it was. We really depended on each other at the time and we had a genuine love for one another, one that a brother and sister are not normally blessed with. I have had the pleasure of watching her develop into a great spiritual women, again realized when she walked down the isle. She was so calm and collected, or at least she put on a good show, during the ceremony. It was just fun to watch.

It was also a bitter sweet week with her, and I wish I would have talked to her about it, but she was so busy with finishing up the final details. I wanted to tell her how proud I am of her and what she means to me and my family. Until last week I had not seen her in about 1 1/2 years. I really missed her during that time. She had always brought me so much comfort when we were together. But now she is all grown up and married. Her husband Matt, who I met for the first time last week, is a great guy. I can tell by the way that he looks at her that he is in awe of her, and as a big brother, that is what you hope for. The two of them will be such an encouragement to each other both spiritually and physically, and that is encouraging to me. I know that Matt will take care of her now, especially since they will be living in Charlotte, NC.

I was fortunate enough to be able to take Rachel and Matt to the airport on Sunday morning so that they could go on their honeymoon. I was the first to see them on their first full day of being married. I was able to share in some of Rachel's other "firsts" as we grew up, and the one on Sunday will be put up as one of the most special to me.

One last memory for the road. I used to have to get Rachel ready for school when she was in elementary grades. She couldn't have been more that 6 or 7 years old which would have made me around 13 or 14 years old. I used to do her hair and get her dressed in the mornings, because my mom had to be to work at like 4 or 5 in the morning. As I look back on that experience I can't help but think about that movie "When a man loves a woman" with Meg Ryan and Andy Garcia. There was a scene in the movie when the little daughter got her hair done by her older sister. When she was done the little girl came around a corner crying that her hair hurt because of what they had done to it. I can imagine Rachel going to school with her hair hurting, because I am sure that I did not know what I was doing while "doing" her hair. Rachel if your hair hurt I am sorry, but it was all worth it, at least for me. I love you. BTT

Matt, take care of our little Rachel for us, we know you will.

I have made it home.

Well, I made it home safely. The trip home seemed to take longer than it actually was, but I attribute that to anxiousness to see Aly and Brooks. It has taken Brooks a couple of days to get used to me again, but he is coming around just fine. He now smiles at me when I see him and I can even get him to giggle a little bit. It is so good to be home and not have the stress of class and homework. I will be getting my Master's degree sometime in August (I hope). Anyway all is well and here is a three month picture of Brooks.

I can't wait to see you.

Alyson and Brooks,
I can't wait to see you. Being here in Texas has been fun, but I can't wait to see you and hold you both in my arms. I never thought that a month could take so long. I pray for you every night for your protection. You both are in my thoughts as I sit in class waiting to be released for the night. I look at Brooks' picture on my phone first thing in the morning, and all I want to do is hop in the car and drive home to be with you.

Alyson you are great beyond words. You have done all of this on your own. You have taken care of Brooks in my absence all without complaining. I am so blessed to be called your husband and I thank you for your incredible spirit. I can't wait to see you next week. Oh, by the way, you will have to call me "Master" Brian since I will have a Master's degree. Just kidding. I love you. Kiss Brooks for me and tell him his Dad will be home soon.

Messy Spirituality

Ever since I was in High School and I began to really think about my walk with Christ, I have always thought about the following: I don't pray enough; I don't read my Bible enough; I don't share my faith enough; I don't love God enough; I'm not committed enough; I'm not spiritual enough. Those thoughts have been in my head for the longest time. I have always thought that if I am an authentic Christian, then I have to be perfect, as Christ was perfect, but I always come up short, way short. I have associated so much guilt with all of those thoughts, because I feel like I really try to be what God wants me to be. I spend so much life worried about what I don't do instead of what I have done, focused on my imperfections instead of God's fondness for the imperfect.

I have just started reading a book called Messy Spirituality and it has opened my eyes in a whole new way. The book is by Michael Yaconelli. He basis of the book on this question: What if genuine faith begins with admitting we will never have our act completely together? He suggests that imperfection, unfinishedness, and messiness are, in fact, the earmarks of true Christianity; that real Christianity is messy, erratic, lopsided, and maybe liberating.

The book gets into how messed up most of our Biblical heroes were. They were murderers, adulterers, prostitutes, criminals, and lepers. He talked about Noah and his faith and willingness to listen to God to build the Ark. He then mentions that when the waters receded that Noah proceeded to go get drunk and naked. I never really thought about Noah like that, nor had I heard the story told like that. I have to realize that its okay to screw up, and not feel so guilty. I just need to be able to hear Jesus when I screw up, when he says "That's not quite what I am looking for, let's try again". He doesn't say, "That's not quite what I am looking for, get away from me". I guess being so messed up is not such a horrible thing to be as a "Christian".

Just look at this kid!!!

You can't tell me that Brooks does not love to be home with his family. We took this picture the day we moved in to our new apartment.

I leave for Texas on Wednesday and will not be back until around July 10th. I will be gone from Alyson and Brooks for about a month. I will be gone for way too long, but I will have my Master's Degree when I come back. It will be fun to see everyone in Abilene for one last time.

We made it home...finally!

We are in our new home and unpacking. Alyson arrived home on Friday and I arrived home Sunday at 2:00 a.m. We are all doing well. My trip with my dad in the moving truck was fun, but very uncomfortable. The truck was not made for comfort. We both came away from the 26 hour trip with very sore backs. Split the trip up, though not evenly. 7 hours on Friday, and 19 on Saturday. We had planned to stop and sleep Saturday night, but I think that my dad and I both dreaded getting back into the truck again for a third day.
Our new apartment is very nice and I think we will enjoy living here for a short time. I only have a 2 mile commute to work, which in this town is a true blessing (traffic stinks here).

My dad got to meet Brooks for the first time today. It was awesome!!! I will post pictures soon. My dad got so fired up after meeting Brooks that he went and bought a brand new Mustang. I'm thinking it will be a great hand-me-down for Brooks.

Anyway, we are here and settling in. We already miss our friends in Abilene.

One more week.

Well we have one more week left in Texas. I will be hitting the road with my dad this time next week to move all of our stuff back home. Alyson and I are excited, but at the same time it is bitter sweet. We have grown close to several people during our time here and we will miss them all dearly. During our time here we have grown in so many ways, and I wish there was some way to physically stay involved with these special people. There are not words to express what Abilene has meant to me and Aly, we will truly miss this place.

I think Brooks is really excited about all of this. You can just tell by his body language in this picture. Brooks says, "can we go already!"

Brooks is excited!

The Bottom picture is of Brooks when he heard we were going to be moving away from Texas.
The Top picture is of Brooks when he heard we were going to move to Michigan (he actually buckled himself in and said, "what are we wating for?"