Random Thoughts

I have come to the realization, again, that I have many great friends. All kinds of friends from all walks of life. I am totally blessed by their influence in my life. I won't single anyone out, because when you do that you always leave somebody out, but I am blessed by the company I keep. God has blessed me with so many unique relationships and for that I give thanks...

...I think I have found a great house for Alyson and I to buy, problem is we don't know if we can afford the price, but we haven't even tried to figure out what we can afford either. It is a 4 bedroom 2 full bath house located in Rochester Hills, MI. It would be perfect for Alyson, because she works from home. We could use the 4th bedroom for her office. It has a big yard with a nice deck off the back. Usually when I show Alyson houses that I see on the internet she just shrugs it off, but this one has her a bit excited. A house would be a great thing for us at this point, we are tired of being in an apartment...

...With this officially being the Christmas season, I often wonder what God truly thinks of all of our hustle and bustle to get just the right gift. Does he sit up there and laugh, or does he sit back and wonder if we will ever "get it". I know what the perfect gift is, and that was His son dyeing on the Cross. I wish that I could just stay focused on that, instead of worrying what I am going to give as gifts...

"What would you do if I had Cancer?"

"What would you do if I had Cancer?" Those are the words that I heard one year ago yesterday from my wife as we lay in bed after a basketball game. Those are also the words that I will never forget because of what followed. When she asked me the question, I truly did not have an answer, so I paused and said "boy, that would suck." She then said, "well, I have Cancer". That instant I became numb to everything around me, I couldn't fathom the possibility that my time with my wife could be coming to an end. After about 2-3 minutes I began to cry, and we held each other for what seemed forever, and I can remember not wanting to let go of her.

What followed in the coming days was probably the most frustrating time in our lives together. Not only did my wife now have breast cancer, but she was also 5 months pregnant, and the doctors were unsure what to do regarding treatment. At first the doctors came with the possibility of terminating the pregnancy, which was never an option in Alyson's mind, nor mine. Then they said, that they could treat her, but what of the baby during all of this. They did not have an answer for it.

So Alyson and I sought out second and third and fourth opinions over the next month or so. We traveled to Dallas, TX, Lubbock, TX, Up to Michigan, and back to Abilene, TX. Then we prayed a lot with our friends and family. We cried a lot and we ate basically what amounts to grass, not sure but that could have been the reason for crying a lot.

I don't know if anyone can relate, but it is the hardest thing to watch someone you care so much for, go through all that she went through. It was horrible watching her get stuck with all those needles, and to watch her get her initial biopsy done. The thing that I did notice was her strength and courage. I can remember asking her what we were going to do, and she looked at me and said, "we are going to keep on living normal... Life does not stop because of cancer". That blew me away. All I wanted to do was make life easier for her, and she did not want anything to change one bit. If it were me I would have wanted to go rent a cottage by a lake and just die, but not her. She was going to keep on going, not missing a stride and whatever happened along the way happened.

So a year has gone by, and she is cancer free, we have our son Brooks, and life is normal. Just like she wanted. I sit here today blessed beyond measure for who my wife is and what she means to our family. Her strength and courage is immeasurable by anything on this earth, and I love her more than words.

A special thank you goes out to our family and friends, especially our dear friends in Abilene, TX. It was your prayers that kept us going and keep us going today. Alyson, Brooks, and I truly love all of you. Thank you so much.