Grandpa Cec'

"What ya doin ref!!!" is one of the memories I have of Grandpa Cec. He was always at our basketball games in high school and even though he wasn't my blood grandfather, he was simply known at Grandpa Cec to everyone who knew him. I was fortunate enough to know him a little better than most people because he was the grandfather of my best friend, Craig, growing up. He was much more than just my friend's grandpa, he sort of adopted me as one of his own, especially since Craig and I were always hanging out with each other. One summer Grandpa Cec and Grandma Martin invited me to go down to South Carolina with them and Craig on a vacation. Though I don't remember much about the trip itself, I do remember feeling like I was with my own grandparents.

There are only a few people in our lifetimes that you can call an influence, and Grandpa Cec was one of those people. He always put other people before himself. I can remember him helping Craig's mom out with yard work. He would mow the lawn, plant flowers, and do whatever else he could to help. It wasn't just me that he influenced. It was anyone he came into contact with. My younger sister Rachel, who played Volleyball at Liberty University called me one day to tell me that Grandpa Cec and Grandma Martin showed up at one of her games. Liberty University is down in Lynchburg, VA. That's not just a cruise across town. He took an interest in people's lives and he made them feel special. He visited other people he knew that were out of state, for no other reason than to just see how they were doing. You don't find many people like Grandpa Cec anymore.

I will always remember Grandpa Cec. He passed away on September 21 and was welcomed into the Kingdom of Heaven soon there after. In his final weeks of life, he still put other people first. One night I went up to the hospital to visit him. When I got there he was sleeping. I didn't wake him because I know in hospitals it is hard to get any sleep, with all the doctors and nurses checking up on you. I got word that he was disapointed that I didn't wake him up. He said he was sorry for sleeping. I wished I would have woke him up, because I didn't get to see him before he went home to the Lord. While he was in the hospital, the doctor's were telling him that things didn't look good for him and that Cancer was doing its work. He told the doctor's that where he came from, that when a horse was sick or wounded, they would take it out back and finish it off with a shotgun....jokingly he asked the doctor if they had any option like that for him. The great part there is that he wasn't afraid of death. He knew what awaited him in Heaven and he wasn't afraid. He got to talk to all of his family and they all gave him permission to go. While we will miss him down here, he will be waiting to greet his family when their time comes...and what a great day that will be. Heck if I get there I am sure he will be there to, just like he was when I was young, making sure that I am doing well. My wish for that day is that he will have his famous fishing hat on, like the one in the picture, because that is how I will always remember him. He was a great man and he lived his life well.

Thanks Grandpa Cec', I will always consider you as my own...

Looking forward to another school year

Well, its August and it's already time to begin thinking about next school year at the college. Even though our students don't really come on campus until September 1st, it is still time to at least begin to ready myself. It's been a great summer thus far. I have been able to do a lot of fun things with Aly and Brooks and family. I have been able to get away from things as well and take time to stop and listen to God...at least a little. I still battle with wanting things done my way, but I'm working through those issues.
The College is timidly anxious about next year as early numbers indicate a large group of new students attending this September. We have a number of projects that are ongoing across campus that are exciting. I can't talk about them here until they are officially completed. Our Men's Basketball team is looking good to this point...at least on paper anyway. We have some really good players coming to attend in the fall. Early indications show that we could be pretty good, as long as this group of guys are willing to put aside any selfishness and be more willing to be good teammates. It should be a fun if not interesting year once we start practices and games.
Anyway, the Lord has been good to me and my family this summer and we are looking forward to the opportunities that He has for us. Hopefully my eyes and heart will be able to see those things and I will feel His guidance wherever He may be leading.

...so long for now. Sure would like to get an invite to a certain bed and breakfast in Texas sometime...anyone know of a nice place?????

Self Worth?

I have been really trying to figure out what it is I am supposed to be doing and where I am supposed to be doing it. Along with that process comes the question of self worth. I don't think that I have placed my self worth in being able to make a certain amount of money. I really feel like it comes from the desire to provide for my family more adequately, and naturally that takes more money. I have never said to my self "boy things would be great if I made 'x' amount of money or things would be great if I worked here instead of there. It just bothers me that the goals I have for myself have not come to fruition faster. I understand the concept of patience and I understand things could change in an instance. When I made the decision to pursue college coaching I promised myself that I would not let any job sacrifice my relationship with the Lord, my wife, and my children. Too many coaches have ruined those relationships by working all the time. I have chosen to follow the model of: when I'm at work I am working on basketball, and when I am home I am with my wife and family. I am always available to the players on our team, whether at work or at home, but I try not to take my work home with me as much as possible. Because of that I sometimes wonder if I started into this business of coaching too late. I have never spent summers on the road going from one AAU tournament to the next. I haven't gone to every coaching clinic trying to meet the "next" coach who could get me a job. I have purposely sought out Christian colleges/universities to work at so that I can keep my faith in the open. I made those choices. Because of that I sometimes wonder if that was the right thing to do. Thankfully I get the right answer when I come home and my wife and son are happy to see me, and when I'm home,...I'm home. I'm not coming home when my son is sleeping and gone before he gets up. I know I am doing that right, at least I think I am. Because I love being home enjoying my family I wonder if I should even been coaching, but I love the game. I love the kids on the team. I love my boss. I love my college. But will I get to where I want to be, doing what I am doing, doing it the way I am doing it....I DON'T KNOW?

I go back and forth between things I must be doing wrong and things I do right. Its a battle that is wearing on me. One day I am down because I feel like I have screwed something up somewhere along the line, and another day I feel like I am doing things well and I try to improve from there. The thing of it is, is that I have always been able to keep a pretty level head about things. I don't let myself get too high or too low, but that has been tougher lately. I understand people go through this battle all the time, but this is my battle and I am trying to win this thing.

When I look at other opportunities for employment, its like a double edged sword. On one side I am trying to improve things for my family, and on the other side its like I'm not grateful for where I am. I have said this before, I get paid to watch kids play a game that I love to be a part of. Not many people get to say that or enjoy it the way I do.

As you can tell, I am flat out frustrated...not depressed, just really, really, frustrated. Wanting to do the right thing...whatever that may be.

So What is it...

I had mentioned in my last entry that I had somethings in the works. Well as is turns out those things never worked out. I was a finalist for the Dean of Students job here at the College. I didn't get that job, which would have been a great opportunity for me and a real nice pay raise. I really thought that I had a good shot at the job and thought that I would do a great job as the Dean of Students. I had high hopes for that. When that didn't work out I had applied for a head coaching job at a Christian College near Chicago. It would have been a great fit for me both spiritually and professionally. That too did not work out. They gave the job to the assistant coach. I had looked at some other spots as well that never really developed.

So in my mind it begged the question...What is it I am supposed to be doing?????? I am just at a very frustrating spot in my life. I want so much to be able to do more for my family. Both of the opportunities would have afforded me that. Don't get me wrong, I am grateful to have a job where I am at. Its just that I want to be able to provide for my family without having to rely on other people. I don't make enough money at the college to adequately provide for Aly and Brooks. If not for being able to "babysit" the house we are in we would probably have to live at one of our parents houses and that freaks me out. As it is, we can barely afford to live for "free" in the house we are living now. I have got to believe that I am worth more than what I am currently making. So I ask myself...Am I in the wrong profession? Should I be doing something else? Am I supposed to be happy with just getting by?

I feel like I have been patient. I feel like I haven't gone after unrealistic opportunities. I have to believe that I am not being unrealistic when I think that I can do better for my family. I just feel like where I am now doesn't give me that opportunity. I do love the college and its mission and I am grateful to have a job here, but to be honest I would barely be able to survive when Aly runs out of unemployment.

So I will continue to ask What is it??????????????

Potty training

We began potty training...or I should say Aly has been potty training Brooks this week. It has been quite an adventure for Aly and Brooks. He has been doing well for the most part, but has had trouble figuring out how to go #2. He is not quite comfortable with the whole idea of just letting things happen. He seems to be more comfortable hiding in a corner and doing the deed in his "big boy" underwear. We went out to eat last night and he had to go "pee-pee". When he came out he made it known to the whole restaurant, rather excitedly, that he went "pee-pee on the big boy potty daddy!!!" It was rather funny. We are hoping that by the end of the week he will figure out the #2 part and figure out how to wake up in the middle of the night to go potty. This weekend will be a big weekend for him. We are going to a cookout at my aunts house. It should be interesting. He has made some great strides. He can finally ride his bike with training wheels. Its awesome!!!!!!!

Its been too long!!!

Its been too long since my last posting...not that anyone is really watching. I am just going to update everyone on what has been going on lately. My good friend Bryan Hyma is doing well after his cancer treatment. The doctor's feel he is in the clear at this point. He has expressed thanks for all of the prayers. He also recently became a father and he and his wife adopted a beautiful little girl. The family is doing well and adjusting nicely.

The basketball team finished a successful 25-7 season as National Runners-Up. We made it into the Championship game on a last second shot in overtime to beat the defending National Champs. In the Championship game we tried to make it an ugly game by slowing down the tempo against a high octane offense. We did a good job of not letting them score a ton of points, but unfortunately we couldn't score either. We lost 45-31.

After the National Championships me and the family were able to get away to Florida. We met up with Aly's family. Her sister's family, her mom and dad, and our family all stayed in a nice condo that was right on the beach. We were there for a week and had a great time. We relaxed, played on the beach and I even got to golf a little. I built a sand castle for brooks to destroy. We saw the Space Shuttle take off one evening just after sunset. It was really pretty neat to see, even though we were a couple hundred miles away. It was easy to tell that the space shuttle was taking off. Speaking of sunsets we watched the sun go down just about every night. That is just such a peaceful time and refreshing. The week away really did some good for us. I did come to the interesting realization that tan fat looks much better than pasty white fat. My brother-in-law told me that and I agreed. Alyson and I have several things in the works, that I am not able to discuss at this point, but when things start panning out I will no doubt inform everyone...don't worry we are not pregnant...lets just get that out now. Enjoy the pictures from Florida!!!