Just a quick update.

Alyson is doing quite well post surgery. We have an appointment tomorrow to get her port flushed out. We are now waiting on the results of Oncotype DX test. This test will tell us the chances of the cancer coming back. We are hoping for a low score. If we get a low score, our oncologist will entertain the idea of postponing Chemo until after the birth of our son (no name yet, and it won't be Kosmo like Clint logue suggested).

I was just sitting here thinking about this whole "thing" that we have been going through, and I have this feeling of security and calmness. It is nice to sit here and just be still for a while. I have felt lately like I have been running on reserve. But then I thought about what that "reserve" was. It isn't reserve at all, it was the strength of the Lord. I just didn't know how to use the strength He was giving me. I let all this negative energy surround me and slow me down. The negative energy was a weight that I should have given over to the Lord, but in my desire to do things my way I let the weight, weigh me down. What would have happened if I had taken a moment to stop and look up? We all know that answer to that one. It goes back to that night at my small group when I keep hearing the phrase "depend on me". The Lord was probably telling me that long before that night, but I just didn't take the time to hear Him saying it to me. Things may have been less stressful had I taken the time to just sit still and listen. Although I am in no way blameless like Job, I think maybe Job finally listened during his trials. He probably heard God saying, "this is not from me, you know I love you, depend on me". I wonder when the devil figured out that God was right. I would have loved to see the look on the devils face when he finally figured out that God was right, Job would not "turn" on God. I hope someday to put that look on the devils face as well.

Happy New Year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Merry "CLEAR" Christmas

Alyson's Lymph Nodes are clear as well as the additional tissue!!!! We found out Christmas Eve. What a great feeling that was and is. Praise the Lord and all of your prayers. We are now waiting on the results of another test to come back to see if Aly can delay Chemo until after delivery of our son (no name yet). It was a great Christmas, I just wish I could have been home to enjoy it with our families, although our "family" here was a great replacement. There is such a weight lifted from Alyson and I now that we know that the Cancer has not spread to other parts of her body. Hopefully now we can enjoy preparing for our son to come. At least I'll enjoy it as Aly is really feeling pregnant lately. I want you to also realize that Alyson had a "real" Christmas dinner. Turkey, ham, and all the trimmings. Anyway I just wanted to let everyone know the results.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Surgery went well!

Alyson had surgery Monday to test her Lymph Nodes and to remove additional tissue. She also had a chemo-port put in her right arm. The port is so that she does not have to get stuck with a needle everytime she goes in for chemo. We are waiting to hear about the Lymph Nodes outcome. The doctor said that the nodes looked grossly clear to her, which is a good thing. We will probably start chemo sometime next week or we may be able to wait until after delivery of our son. We just need the results of another test to determine how quickly we will start chemo. Alyson is doing well after surgery, with just a little soreness. Aly has decided to do both a nutrition and chemo-therapy approach to getting her cure. The nutritional aspect will help her combat the side effects of the chemo by rebuilding her immune system. I will let you all know how the Lymph Nodes come out as soon as we find out.

HAVE A MERRY CHRISTMAS.

I would also like to announce the engagement of my younger sister Nicole. She is currently finishing up her degree at Central Michigan. Congrats Nicole. Aly and I love you and can't wait to see your ring.

Depend on Me

I had an incredible meeting with God today. What an awesome night. As many of you know I have been struggling with trying to find a reason why my wife and I are having to go through this season in our lives. I was thinking this should be a high point in our lives because we are having our first child. We should be able to wholly enjoy this time. Why would we have to have my wife have cancer? I have been looking for an answer now for weeks.

Tonight we had a church small group meeting. This is a time that about 6-7 couples come together and fellowship in the Lord. We have a time of praise and worship along with a time of prayer. This is always a great time for me personally, because our group is so very special. Tonight we wanted to focus on at least one hope for the new year. Alyson and I mentioned that our hope was for continued peace of mind and new life. Peace of mind for Alyson and new life for our boy. We spent a great deal of time in prayer together. After a time, I had offered up a praise to the Lord, a praise of clarity that is to come. Well, I had no idea that some of that clarity would come 15 minutes later.

As we were praying and sharing I kept hearing a phrase in my head and it kept repeating itself over and over. The phrase was "Depend on Me, Depend on Me". I knew right away what that meant. I had been looking so hard for a reason that Aly has cancer while she is pregnant, and that made me very scared. So scared that I was becoming angry and frustrated because I did not know what to do. I had gotten to the point that I just wanted to lash out for not knowing answers. God answered me tonight. He said "Depend on Me". We hear it all the time in our Christian walk, yet we do not do it very often. It sounds simple in theory, but it is so difficult in practice. Depending on God involves letting go of things that we hold on to so very hard. It is so hard to let go of our fears and place them at the feet of God. I think it is because of pride. Pride that comes from the idea that I can do things my way and it will work out. I don't think we have that as a luxury in life. I think that the reason why we have problems in our lives is because we depend on our selves too much. Why do you think that we have drug abuse, alcoholism, a high divorce rate, and things of that nature. Its because we do not depend on God enough in our lives. We so often times only go to our knees in prayer because we are so tired and worn out from searching for answers elsewhere.

So that is what I am going to do. Depend on God. God will take care of the Doctors. God will take care of the recovery. God will take care of our son. God will take care of Alyson's cancer. I realize now that the answer is only a prayer away. When this is all done I know that Alyson and I will be walking testimonies of what depending on God will do in our walks with Christ.

Tomorrow I will depend on God, and I pray that my pride does not creep back in. I pray that my habit becomes to fall to my knees first and search for answers from God.

Dinner for two please...Naturally!

Feast your eyes on the wonderfully prepared bean salad and cornbread. Believe it or not it was a very delicious dinner made for two. Also notice from where we quench our thirsts. And yes Johnny Pleasant I am giving up Coke...sort of... well maybe...just one more sip... please. Seriously, the juicer is very good. The bean salad was very tasty, and so was the ham and cheese sandwich (not pictured). I must admit I have not totally committed to the natural diet, but I am eating much smarter. Aly is much stronger than I am. But we already new that. Life on the healthy trail is a bit crazy right now because it takes a lot of time to prepare a meal when you are as inexperienced as we are. We are still figuring out what we like and do not like. My struggle seams to come from a distaste in veggies, fruits, grains, nuts and seeds. I asked George Evjen what he thought that Aly and I were having for dinner, and he responded with "twig soup". I thought that was pretty funny. That meal is for tomorrow. Anyway we are adjusting to life in the Natural world quite nicely, although we are still working out the chinks.

Please remember Aly in your prayers this week as she recovers from surgery. She goes in on Monday to have the Lymph Nodes tested. Also don't forget to remember our good friends Rachel and Klint Pleasant as Rachel is also going in for surgery on Monday in Michigan. I will try to give you all an update by Wednesday, because Aly will have to stay overnight in Lubbock.

Let's give some clarification and re-evaluation.

I want to thank all of you for your kind words of encouragement and your continued prayers. I also want to clear some things up that were misunderstood by many people. As you can all understand, Alyson and I are very scared right now and we are trying to make good decisions for her treatment. I probably should have been a little more clear when I told all of you that Alyson was going to go Natural in our approach to this Cancer. Yes, Alyson is changing her diet to help reverse the Cancer, but at no time were we not going to stop talking to doctors and exploring ALL treatments. We were not simply going to leave things "in God's hands" and hope for the best. But what would be wrong with that. We trust in God in everything we do. We seek his will for our lives and we want to make responsible decisions. Every Doctor we have talked to has told us that there is an 8 week window to start treatment once Cancer is diagnosed. We are only in week 4. We also do not want to rush into anything that Alyson is uncomfortable with. We felt very rushed into her surgery that was supposed to be last Monday. We cancelled it to re-evaluate and research more options, and that is when we began to treat her Cancer with some Natural options. At no point were we going to leave the doctors out of this whole process. We have done some more research, talked with a nutritionist, and have come to the decision to get Aly's lymph nodes tested, remove more tissue, and continue to change her diet to rebuild her immune system. Please understand that we do not have a reference for what we are doing, and it is probably my fault for updating too soon before we made a final decision. Alyson is going to have surgery this coming Monday in Lubbock (December 19). Please pray for us as we are very scared for these next weeks to come and what they might bring. I will let all of you know what is going on as soon as possible. Please pray for Aly to have continued peace that all of this is going to work to God's glory.

Can I get a Road Map....PLEASE!!!!!

Heavenly Father,
I must admit, I am lost and confused and frustrated and angry and feeling helpless. James 1:2 says, "consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him." I am finding it hard to consider what is going on "joyful", because quite honestly it feels like pure hell. I must really be lacking for your work to not be complete. Lord I lack wisdom in a big way. I really do try to make right choices, but how am I to know what is right for my walk with you. People say all the time that your Word (the Bible) is our road map for our journey, but then why do I feel lost and confused and frustrated and angry and helpless. I am asking for wisdom. I want to make the right choices for my wife and baby and cancer. I am asking for a road map Lord because I am lost. I am going crazy trying to do what is right for Alyson. I am asking strength to be a helpmate for her and to make the right decisions for her treatment. Lord I want my wife with me while we wait for your call. You put us together for a reason Lord. I cry out for your hand of mercy to heal my wife and to make her whole again. Lord, I am not angry with you. I know you Love me, and I know you sent your son for my sins. I just want a roadmap! Lord could you also give Alyson peace and quiet in her heart as she seeks your presence. She has been before your throne trying to hear your voice. Give her wisdom.

Besides Lord, give a man some credit for stopping and asking for directions. I Love you Lord!!!!
AMEN

As you can tell it has been a hard night. I ask for your continued prayers as we may be blazing a new trail to put on a map someday.

I want to thank a great friend for his honesty the other night. Brett Reed you are truly an amazing man. Your honesty was greatly appreciated and I am forever indebted to you. I truly cherish your friendship. You really helped me clear somethings up in my mind, things that I was too afraid to share with Alyson. Its like I said on the phone, "there is no map for what I am doing right now, but I sure wish I had one". You are an awesome man. I Love You. (you know what I mean, sicko).

Not going to Lubbock for surgery.

Alyson and I have come to a difficult decision not to go to Lubbock for further surgery and chemo-therapy. We have instead opted to go the natural route of treatment. Alyson and I feel that there is too many questions regarding chemo and radiation. We also feel as the doctors did that we have caught the cancer early enough that it did not have a chance to travel elsewhere. We just had too many questions about the side effects of traditional treatments. Alyson is about to embark on a tough journey of total life style change. Her diet will now consist of primarily fruits, vegatables, grains, nuts, and seeds. She has for the past week or so begun to change her diet, and she will now begin the total transformation. I will also be joining her in her dietary choices, besides I could stand to lose a few lbs.

Alyson has been before the Throne of God ever since she was diagnosed and I am so proud of her in her determination to make the right decision. Her faith has been strengthened in a tremendous way that I stand in awe of who she has become in the past few weeks. And I stand amazed at the Awesomeness of God, who continues to richly bless my life and family. Please continue to pray for us as we continue to seek Gods will and healing, and that we will adjust to eating in a whole new way. I know that Alyson is at total peace with her decision to go "natural" and I am also. We just ask for your support and understanding with our choices. We love you all very much and we appreciate all of your individual faiths.

I can't wait to see her do her running again. Cancer FREE!!!!!!!!

Some Kids do figure it out.

I had the pleasure of talking to one of our former players yesterday. He had used all of his playing eligibility last basketball season. His name is David and he could have just decided to leave school when basketball was done. He knew that he wanted more out of life than just being a former college basketball player. David is from Detroit and he could have been someone who, like many other peers of his, could have called it quits and struggled through life. Instead he took the hard road and finished his degree yesterday. It is so gratifying to see somebody like David carry through a commitment. As a basketball coach you want to win games and be successful, but the true measure of your success is not necessarily championships, but rather CHAMPIONS. You want to see your players get their degrees and you try to instill that in them in their short time with you. So many times kids will play out their time and leave with nothing in their hands but what they came with. Then there are players like David who are loyal in every aspect of their lives. When he walked into my office I asked him if he was done and he gave me the biggest smile I have ever seen come from him, and it made my day to see that. I only coached him a year, but it still felt good to see him carry through to the end. You always knew what you would get out of David on the court and that was total commitment and effort to the bitter end.

I also know that somebody else is smiling today (besides David's parents) and that is Klint Pleasant. Klint recruited David to play here at Abilene Christian and I know it means a lot to him that he has a degree and can now do whatever he wants with his life. David now has choices in life, something he may not have had if he just left when he was done playing.

Some kids do figure it out, and that is awesome.

This is my first time.

This is my first time. I have recently been inspired to create a blog by a couple of my friends. It was appealing to me because they have used their blogs as expressional outlets.

As you can tell by the title of my blog site, I am a basketball coach by profession. I am currently coaching at Abilene Christian University in Abilene Texas. I am a native Michigander living it up in a relatively warm state. I was brought down to Texas by a good friend who at the time was the Head coach here at Abilene Christian (ACU). I am also currently working on my Master's degree in Special Education, although I have no desire to teach in a school setting. I am one of those few people in this world that view coaching basketball as a teaching profession. I love working with the kids that I work with on a daily basis, and I love being paid to sit on the sideline watching a sport I truly love.

I have been married for 7 years to a beautiful woman name Alyson. We are expecting our first child at the end of March. It is a boy. We do not have a name yet. We are both very excited about becoming parents, but we are scared at the same time. While we are rejoicing in the prospect of a new child, we are also concerned because my wife has just recently been diagnosed with Breast Cancer. We are fortunate to have caught the Cancer in Stage I. My beautiful wife is going to have to go through Chemo-therapy beginning sometime soon after Christmas. She is a strong woman with unbreakable spirit. She is quite an amazing person and I do not know what I would be or what I would do without her.

I think that is enough for my first time, I guess now I can say that I have been published.