Monday, January 22, 2007

Still looking.

At the beginning of every season I pray that God will put in front of me a player that I can influence in a positive way. The season is more than half way over and I am not sure that I have had one put in front of me, at least that I can see. I have been wondering why God has not put one in front of me.

I wonder if it is because He wants me to work on myself or if I am just not seeing who it is supposed to be. I recently had a discussion with a very good friend of mine about a struggle that I am having with my walk. My problem is that I often question whether or not I am living according to the teachings of Christ. I try to be real to people, which often involves me screwing up in some way or another, and that bothers me because I often feel as though my screw up has led somebody away from Christ. I try to live my life in front of our players in a manner that shows the joy of being saved by Grace, and I wonder if that is why God has not put a player in front of me, because of the work left in my own life. I suppose that maybe God is letting me figure out how to be a good father, and that I don't need to necessarily need a player to influence or that a player doesn't yet need me.

Anyway, I just thought that I would put these thoughts into words for someone to give me a little insight into my world.

I will say this: I am truly enjoying what God has been doing in my life over this past year, and I am truly blessed by what He has given me and my family.

I also want you to know that My older brother Tim has just celebrated 1 year of being sober. He is an incredible inspiration to our family and I love him so very much.

7 comments:

Big Brother said...

Brian,
I believe that what you see in your self and what other see in you can be two different visions. By that I mean that even though you may not personally see or feel that you have influenced someone most likely you already have. Brian you are a positive role model for your players and to your family for that matter. Anyone who has been around long enough to know you will surely be influenced by you in a positive way. You are a man of integrity and God has put you in the position to influence because of who you are. Don't be so hard on yourself keep doing what you are doing. These are my thoughts about you and I am SUPER proud of you! Love T

Rach said...

I gotta say big brother, I am in full aggreement with the biggest brother. God uses the most unseemly vessels most of the time and whether you feel worthy or even able, I am sure you've already influenced that one you have been looking for. love xoxo
Congrats Tim. I am proud and blessed, but most of all thankful. Keep it up xoxo rach

geoff said...

Brian:

Your love of the father is influencing those you don't know about. Your thoughts influenced me today... being a dad is edgey when your son is 15. Thanks for reminding to lean on him when I'm in doubt of what to do. Miss you and your family. Geoff

Clint said...

I have some bad news for you. You have always been a screw up. So if God has put players in front of you in the past, being a screw up is not a reason now.

Candy said...

Ditto everyone but Clint! Just continue to do the next right thing and all else will fall into place - including people. I think it's as important for those players to see that you are human as it is to see you doing things right. That's how they learn forgiveness and honesty and all the really big stuff. If they thought you were perfect they probably wouldn't be drawn to you. Just be yourself and hug Aly and Brooks for me.

Mom said...

Brian, I am just laughing so hard right now for what Clint wrote, awe Clint you are refreshing...

Brian, one of my prayers for you is that God will cause you to be an "impact" coach, not instantly, but over time. You are a blessing to our family and Rochester College..xoxolove mom

Anonymous said...

Hey Brian and Aly! Brooks to. This is Aunt Jayne...I love you so much and have been praying...i have several hands held high in prayer for you all. God bless you and keep you forward.
I'm sure you know it but, i'm going to tell you about the "Sarah Cannon" cancer center here in Nashville. Breast cancer is what they specialize in...i heard this from a co-worker...
My Heart and Soul are with you every day...i'm so sorry that i haven't seen you...what we think is important, until now, means nothing...just know that i am here...we are praying and will know that God is in control.
All my love to you, I will being seeing Jeff and Sue this weekend and can't wait to get a hug from family...it is everything...
again, love you much,
Aunt Jayne xo

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